You don't have asthma, your pregnant
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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