Say something about gay babies.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
please don't ironically join a cult
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