Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
