Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
