D3 body, D1 cock
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
