I need help removing her.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
