and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My butt remains clenched, sir.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
