I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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