trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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