Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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