One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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