I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
