He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
