just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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