absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
