apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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