Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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