Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
