Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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