I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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