YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
