im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
