I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
