She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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