He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
