I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
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