The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
