All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
