i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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