omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
