Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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