you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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