butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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