i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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