tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we're so committed to being not committed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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