i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
