She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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