It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
