So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
