ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
