Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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