So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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