and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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