I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
