I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
