he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need water and some morals
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
