This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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