i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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