the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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