I want to stick my p in your. b.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
