You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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