i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
