Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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