peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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