the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
