new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
