Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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