We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
