so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
