My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
