Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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