Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize