why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
