do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm always down for nudity.
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