Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
