im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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