Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize