Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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